My Eulogy for Elyce

How many of us would have ever thought we would have to prepare ourselves for a death of a child? I'm sure most of us would have never imagine. What parent would ever be prepared to write a eulogy for a child and to capture all the key points of her beautiful life. The eulogy is a great way to help others know who Elyce was and why she was so special. I hope I did her justice, because words can never explain how beautiful and full of life my Elyce was. So here goes it.....the eulogy I wrote for her service and was too emotional to read. I was fortunate to have my sister read it to family and friends who were present.

My Elyce

I remember when Elyce was first born and her genetic doctors coming into my room to let me know that my daughter was born with Downs’ Syndrome. Downs’ Syndrome I ask? Yes, trisomy 21 they say. I absolutely had no clue what that was….. I mean who really would know at age 23. First few days I was scared to hold her, because I thought she was going to die, but once I held her, I never stopped! I know deep down inside there was a lesson to be learned. That lesson for me was not to be afraid of the unknown or the things you believe you are scared of. I was afraid of intellectually disabled children that I seen at the fair when I was younger. It’s the unknown…..nobody really talked about it and I was too scared to ask what was wrong with these children.

Once I accepted that she was Downs’ Syndrome, I never looked back. I took full control of the situation. I asked myself, how do I teach her so she can learn for herself and be successful, and I went full steam ahead with the help of my wonderful family. Every little achievement didn’t go unnoticed. These achievements, whether it was learning to crawl, walk, brush her teeth, get dressed, tie her shoes...etc were applauded like she just won a gold medal. To us, each achievement was just that and more.

Teachers, aides, principals, helpers, buddies, all loved her at school. As a Mother I always felt so much pride when I was with her, because Elyce was always the life of the party and she always found a way to touch the hearts of those around her. I do not think I really realized it until now, the impact she has had on many people’s lives.

She has left so many good impressions and taught so many people the meaning of strength and love. As a family we’ve had the pleasure of hosting exchange students. All of students fell in love with Elyce, but never too the magnitude that Alba did. On day one, Alba had a instant connection to Elyce. Together they had an unconditional love for each other. This included accepting those kisses Elyce loved to give when her mouth was full of gunk from food; or when Elyce cleared the room when letting out some air. As Elyce would say, Alba……my twin. Elyce taught Alba how to be strong when life throws you a curve ball. No doubt Elyce taught her and many others strength. Little did we know, Alba would need that strength to fight for her own life. I truly feel Elyce and Alba were meant to cross paths so Elyce can help Alba through her fight.

Elyce has played many roles in our lives, the most recent role is our cheerleader on the tennis courts. She would sit on the side lines and watch my teammates and myself play tennis and cheer us on. She always would say, “you can do it or you have to believe”. She would melt people’s hearts, because for someone with this so called disability, she just gets it! She may have been delayed academically, but socially she got it. She was so uplifting to all those she got to know and love.

Not only did she watch and cheer us on, she also loved to compete and compete she did for over 12 years. She competed in tennis, soccer, softball, basketball (even when she was the shortest kid), golf, and track & field. She’s won over 25 medals. The funny thing is that she was never satisfied with coming in 2nd, 3rd, or 4th. She was an over achiever....not sure who she took after on this skill....HaHa! There were times when she wasn’t feeling well, and her drive to continue showed her drive to live her life to the fullest.

My baby girl was heaven sent. She was an angel living amongst us. Every person she touched never forgot her. She had a laugh that was contagious, that beautiful smile that brought you in every time. My only solace is that she is in heaven with her Bacah, Frida, Ebony, and Frijol and isn’t alone. I’m sure she already made a good impression on all the other angels there beside her. I can still hear her voice telling me, “It’s alright Mom....relax…..it will be ok” or telling me “you got to believe”. This is what’s giving me the strength to keep going. She would have wanted her mommy to be happy. She loved me so much and she told me every day, like I told her every day how much I love her. There are no regrets here……I loved her with everything I had that it hurt. This was her purpose in life and she accomplished it with flying colors!

You go on my beautiful Elyce……take your wings and fly and watch over us. Until we meet again……………..