Why?

Why is it so hard to go into your room my girl? I still see you sitting at your desk coloring and drawing while singing along to a movie you would be watching. All I wanted to go in there to do is to sweep your bathroom so it's all nice and clean like I used to do every Friday. But the realization you aren't coming home after school just makes me lose it! Why did it have to happen this way? I swear life is not fair! Why do they take the most precious people in our lives away from us, when there is still so much life in them? I just don't get it. I'm so so angry! Sometimes I feel I'm losing it.....I have moments out on the tennis courts that I feel happy, but it's kind of an outer body experience happy and then I come home and something like seeing your bathrobe hanging on the back of the door makes me completely lose it out of control. I'm so sad and I miss you more each day that passes. Lately I just want to run away, but my obligations stop me. I know people say and I do believe it, that you would NOT want me to be sad, but honey you are my life. How could I just go on without you? I know you want me to be happy, but you were my happy. I love you and miss you so much and it's killing me!